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Are you too close and personal with your boss?


  • Are you too close and personal with your boss?

    • May 09, 2018
    • by Admin

    Everyone wants to have a healthy relationship with his boss and subordinates but the question arises – is it OK to be friends with your boss?

    Actually close friendship with your boss can make things awkward for both of you and can lead to unexpected results. It is better not to be too close and not to be too far off. It is advised that some level of difference should be maintained.

    Some people have a good working relationship with their boss as well as their subordinates. They have a good time conversation while having lunch together or having an informal and tension free conversation during a tea break. Friendly relations do support good work result in good performance. But you have to set your boundaries how far this lenience should go.

    The matter becomes tricky sometimes and here are some rules you should observe when socializing with your boss.

     1. Initiate talk from your side about changing roles and relationships

    When your close and trusted co-worker is suddenly being promoted and becomes your boss. Maybe your ex-colleague, who is now your boss, may too be worried about how to handle this peculiar social change. Experts recommend that you should approach your new boss directly. Saying, you know how things will change between both of you since we have been very close and now that you have a job which carries more responsibility and a bigger role in the company. And I will have to deliver my work in a more responsible manner now onwards. If you see that your new boss is not taking any initiative to talk to you, it is better you initiate and start from your side. Because the longer you wait more awkward things will become.

    2. Stop workplace complains every now and then

    Even if your new boss was your old friend who used to show sympathy towards you against all your irritating coworkers and now that relationship has changed do not keep on complaining to him regarding workplace happenings every now and then.

    Even if you are planning to change job it is better you keep it to yourself. Even if you trust your new boss blindly, your career change plan will put him in an awkward position. Should he think of your privacy or keep company’s interests in the forefront.

    A relationship advisor is of the view that you should know how much you let the cat out the bag, especially in sensitive topics that affect your work and performance.

    3. Don’t ask for preferential treatment just because you were close to your boss

    You may be on very good terms with your boss who was your old friend being very careful that you do not ask as well as get a preferential treatment. Among your colleagues, you will be perceived as favorite subordinate of the boss and will lose respect. You will not be able to go along smoothly with colleagues because at the back of their (your colleague) mind they will be sure you might be reporting everything. They will not include you in office conversations and will remain aloof from you.

    4. Be close but not too close

    On birthdays or some other family functions chances are that you (being an old friend) will be invited over for dinner or drinks after office hours. See that you attend the function as the setting will be very informal as after office hours you are more of a friend. But because of the physiological barrier do try maintaining a casual relationship with fun and frolic and let the steam out and to maintain some discipline after few drinks. Do not get too close so as to cause inconvenience to him and you the next day.

    5. Do not share too much personal information

    You may be too close to your boss but there are some topics/fields which are not suitable to be shared. It can be relationship issue or health issue or children’s issue, too much personal information is not appropriate. At the end of the day now he is your boss and not a close friend after all.


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